首页
登录
职称英语
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own
游客
2025-01-13
20
管理
问题
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own. My husband and I rarely argued, we had similar careers, and we shared common interests. So nobody was more surprised than we were when our 17-year marriage ended in divorce. It turns out I had been judging my marriage by the wrong standards-as most of us do. In one famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had broken up. Even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.
Luckily, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help you recognize marital strife long before your relationship hits the skids. For instance, a couple go hiking on their first date. They marry, and years later, the wife tells this story: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew not to plan another hiking trip!" Another wife might tell it a different way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again. " The keeper marriage? The one in which the positive is accentuated and the problems laughed off.
Research shows that it’s not what you say but how you say it: Your emphasis will correctly predict the success or failure of your marriage about 90 percent of the time. To size up your relationship, ask yourself these questions. Do you:
Avoid arguments?
Studies show it’s a mistake to judge a relationship by the amount of time you argue, especially early on. When I was first married, I felt lucky that my husband and I rarely fought. A University of Washington study of newly wed couples appeared to confirm my belief: It showed that couples who argued relatively little were happier than combative ones. When the same couples were checked three years later, however, those with an early history of bickering were more likely to have found stability in their marriages, whereas couples who prided themselves on their equanimity were in troubled relationships or already divorced. Of course, violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable.
Roll your eyes?
This seemingly harmless gesture is a clear sign of marital discord. The same researchers at the University of Washington found that eye rolling, even when accompanied by a laugh or smile, indicates some degree of contempt—poison to a relationship. "This kind of sarcastic gesture doesn’t clearly state an objection, which makes it difficult for the other person to respond," says Janice Kiecolt-Glaser at the Ohio State University College of Medicine. "The obvious first step is to stop the behavior. But the second is to explore the reasons behind it. "
Duck decisions?
I often deferred to my husband when it came to making weekend or vacation plans. Later I realized our social life didn’t reflect my favourite activities—a relationship red flag. Psychologist Howard Markman, a professor at the University of Denver, agrees. It’s risky for your relationship when one of you controls the social agenda, he says. [br] As used in the second paragraph, the expression "hit the skids" means______.
选项
A、enjoy good relations with each other
B、discover emotional death suddenly
C、interpret marriage precisely
D、make marriage worse rapidly
答案
D
解析
转载请注明原文地址:https://tihaiku.com/zcyy/3911188.html
相关试题推荐
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
随机试题
Predictionsoflargepopulationsofrobotsinindustryhaveyettocometrue
Whatwasthefoodlike?[br][originaltext]Jane:It’sgoingtobedifferentfro
FormanypeopleintheU.S.,sportsarenotjustforfun.Theyarealmosta
附有认股权证的是()筹资形式。A.可交换债券 B.优先股 C.可转换债券
由于社会研究的对象是有思想、有感情的人,所以许多研究方法都不可避免地会引起研究对
某城镇的地基松软,地下水位较高,地震设防烈度为8度。下列哪些项适用于污水管道接口
妄想的定义是A.联想形式障碍 B.不能被说服的病态信念 C.无法摆脱的重复出
患者,女性,22岁,4天前因劳累出现左侧下后牙龈胀痛,进食吞咽时加重。昨日起出现
银行承兑汇票的承兑银行,应当按照票面金额向出票人收取()的手续费。A:千分之一
考虑使用工具与烟火药发生爆炸的概率之间的关系,在手工直接接触烟火药的工序中,对使
最新回复
(
0
)