How to Be Respectful of Your ParentsChang

How to Be Respectful of Your Parents
　　Good morning, everyone. As you may know, sometimes it seems like your parents don’t understand, and that can lead to a negative relationship with them. Despite that, it is important to remain respectful toward your parents. So in today’s lecture, I am going to talk about how to be respectful of your parents.
　　First and foremost, change your thoughts and feelings about your parents.
　　Aside from bringing you into the world, parents sacrifice time, energy, and effort in order to make sure your needs and wants are met. [1] So be grateful to them. The easiest way to show gratitude is to thank them and tell them face-to-face that you appreciate who they are and what they do. [2] You can also do something small but meaningful. For example, clean the kitchen after dinner or take the trash out without being asked. Parents will notice and appreciate your acts of kindness.
　　Often, parents will show their different opinions about something. Try to respect their opinions. Just because you choose to understand where your parents are coming from, does not mean that you lose your beliefs. [3] Instead, looking at situations from their perspective can help both parties understand and accept a bit more about each other. Ask your parents questions to learn more about them. Understand that your parents are from a different generation and a lot changes with time. [4] Engaging them in conversation will help bridge the gap in order to understand each other better. [5] Keep a journal about your interactions with your parents. By re-reading the journal, you’ll see things with more honesty instead of reinterpreting events in a way that benefits only you. Besides, talking to someone who has nothing to gain can help you see things from others’ perspectives, including that of your parents. Learning to see "where they are coming from" helps in building a mutually respectful relationship.
　　You should value their wisdom. Believe it or not, much of what you have experienced as a child or teen, your parents have experienced as well. For this reason, it is important to recognize that they have knowledge and judgment which should be respected. As an example, if you were to visit a doctor, you would want someone  
　　who had the experience and training to diagnose and treat your illness. The same is true for parents. [6] Learning to see them as professionals at life will help you to develop a different level of respect for them.
　　Then, you should remember how much they love you. There is no way to put into numbers or percentages how much a parent loves a child. Not only do they give life to their children, but they raise them, provide them with guidance, help them overcome obstacles, give of themselves and love them unconditionally. As children, we often forget how much they have done in our lives. Taking a second to think of their love and support can help to build bonds of love and respect. [7] Recognize that when parents seem to be getting in your way, they are, but with good reason. Parents often act as a shield to protect then kills from anything they consider to he harmful. Because parents love you they are concerned about your future success. When parents perceive your behavior as something that threatens to limit your potential achievement, it can often cause conflict in your relationship. Realize that it usually comes from a place of love.
　　[8] Second, change your behavior towards your parents.
　　Remember to follow their rules. As children, we often don’t agree with the rules our parents have set, but we don’t have the foresight to realize that the rules are in place for a reason. Rules matter because as people we are interdependent; when you disregard rules there are consequences which not only affect you, but others as well (including your parents). [9] Following rules demonstrates to your parents that you respect their foresight and judgment. Be clear about expectations. Know what your parents’ rules are so you can avoid any confusion and avoid accidentally breaking rules. [10] Take a second to stop and think about the consequences. Think about what ripple effect your actions may have and how it will impact you and those around you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it.
　　You cannot deny that at some point in your life (especially your teenage years) , you would rather do anything other than spend time with your parents, and your parents know and accept this. But imagine how much love, admiration, and respect they would feel if you chose to spend some unexpected quality time with them. Take an interest in what your parents do in their spare time. Whether it’s sports, dancing, music, or gardening, ask them questions and show them that you are taking an interest in them. [11] Make them a priority by choosing to spend time with them over your friends once in a while. They’ll really appreciate the gesture.
　　Last but not least, improve communication with your parents.
　　You should never talk back. Backtalk is a disrespectful response to a parent in the form of yelling, cursing, eye rolling, or even sarcasm. It occurs as a way to fight back, but all it does is create conflict. [12] The next time you are tempted to say something disrespectful, take a second to regroup before speaking from emotion alone. Take into consideration what your parents are saying and where they are coming from.
　　The majority of our communication comes from not what we say, but how we say it., It’s in the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and the way you move. [13] So be sure to watch your body language. Make sure that your nonverbal signals demonstrate respect and understanding. Avoid crossing your arms. This shows that you are defensive and not open to communicating. Watch your tone. [14] Avoid being sarcastic or raising the tone of your voice. This shows that emotions are beginning to take over instead of logic. Try speaking in a calm and controlled manner instead. [15] Make eye contact. This shows that you are genuine in what you are saying and that you are interested in hearing what your parents have to say as well.
　　Okay. In today’s lecture, I have presented to you how to be respectful of your parents. In our next lecture, I am going to talk about how to improve your relationship with your parents. Thank you!