[originaltext] Some children are natural-born bosses. They have a strong nee

Some children are natural-born bosses. They have a strong need to make decisions, manage their environment, and lead rather than follow. Stephen Jackson, a Year One student, "operates under the theory of what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine," says his mother. "The other day I bought two new Star Wars light sabers. Later, I saw Stephen with the two new ones while his brother was using the beat-up ones."
    "Examine the extended family, and you’ll probably find a bossy grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin in every generation. It’s an inheritable trait," says Russell Barkley, a professor at the Medical University of South Carolina. Other children who may not be particularly bossy can gradually gain dominance when they sense their parents are weak, hesitant, or in disagreement with each other.
    Whether its inborn nature or developed character at work, too much control in the hands at the young isn’t healthy for children or the family, Fear is at the root of a lot of bossy behavior, says family psychologist John Taylor. "Children", he says in his book. From Defiance to Cooperation, "have secret feelings of weakness" and "a desire to feel safe." It’s the parents’ role to provide that protection.
    When a "boss child" doesn’t learn limits at home, the stage is set for a host of troubles outside the family. The overly willful and unbending child may have trouble obeying teachers or coaches, for example, or trouble keeping friends. It can be pretty lonely as the top dog if no one likes your bossy ways.
    "I see more and more parents giving up their power," says Barkley, who bas studied bossy behavior for more than 30 years. "They bend too far because they don’t want to be as strict as their own parents were.  But they also feel less confident about their parenting skills. Their kids, in turn, feel more anxious."