[originaltext] (26)What is love? And how does it come? Charles Zastrow, a fa

(26)What is love? And how does it come? Charles Zastrow, a famous American professor, offers an interesting answer, particularly to the second question. He argues that there are many kinds of love(27) and that particularly in one kind, which he calls "romantic love", we are strongly influenced not so much by what we actually feel but by what we tell ourselves about the way we feel. He calls this "self-talk". For example, say a woman is strongly attracted to a man. She tells herself things like "He is all I have ever wanted in a man!" But when she discovers that he is just an ordinary human being with both strong and weak points, she is bitterly disappointed.
    Zastrow says that particularly in romantic love, our self-talk comes from "intense, unsatisfied desires and frustrations", (28)and that this kind of love often requires distance. "The more forbidden the love, the stronger it becomes." He points out that this kind of love begins to fade and die as soon as a normal relationship begins.
    He contrasts romantic love with what he calls "rational love". This is based on such things as the ability to communicate with each other openly, so that you can deal with the problems as soon as they appear, and a clear knowledge of your own goals in life. (29)This kind of love leads to a lasting, satisfying relationship, but it is much more difficult to achieve, and is not as frequent as romantic love.