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Two-way Discussion We’ve been talking about something naughty you did a
Two-way Discussion We’ve been talking about something naughty you did a
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2024-01-10
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Two-way Discussion
We’ve been talking about something naughty you did as a child and now I’d like to discuss with you one or two more general questions related to this. Let’s consider first the topic of parental discipline.
Some people believe that smacking or using any type of physical violence as punishment against a child is wrong. What’s your view?
Why do you think some people have difficulty disciplining and controlling their children?
What are some of the disadvantages of having a strict upbringing?
Now let’s talk about children misbehaving.
What do you think are some of the reasons why children misbehave?
Do you think it is a good idea to ignore bad behavior, or punish it? Why?
Do you think that children nowadays misbehave more or less than they did in the past? Why might this be so?
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答案
Well yes, I completely agree that any type of violence should not be used as a punishment. There are much better ways to discipline children and I think that violence sends the wrong message to them, even if it is only a light smack. I think it has been shown that in countries with legislation which prevents the use of smacking as a form of discipline, there have been lower overall rates of child abuse. So that tells us something, doesn’t it?
I think there are many reasons for people’s struggle to discipline their children but mainly I guess it is related to a lack of consistency and perhaps a lack of awareness on the part of parents as to what to do or how to go about disciplining their children. However nowadays there are lots of television shows which focus on good parenting, and they all seem to talk about the importance of good boundaries and consistent consequences for bad behavior. Maybe some parents are just too easily manipulated by their children!
I think a very strict upbringing can have a few drawbacks. For instance, if you never get the chance to make your own mistakes and learn from them, then I think it’s more likely that you might have a mid-life crisis or a period later in life where you feel the need to rebel and break the rules, so to speak. Also, I think that if a strict upbringing prevents you from enjoying things in life that your peers are enjoying, then you are left with a feeling of resentment and a sense of missing out.
There are all sorts of reasons! I suppose one of the main ones is that they misbehave in order to get attention, even though the attention might be negative, that is in the form of a punishment or scolding. Or they might play up in order to impress their friends, or they might just be hungry or bored, I guessed. Another reason that they might misbehave is if they don’t know the rules, or these haven’t been consistently applied, so they don’t know where they stand. Those are just a few reasons why children might be naughty.
In my view, it’s better to punish bad behavior in some way, but it depends on what the bad behavior is. For instance, if it’s a temper tantrum then I think it’s probably a better idea to ignore it, because then the children don’t receive any attention (good or bad) from their behavior, so will hopefully be less likely to repeat it. On the other hand, I think there are some instances that need punishment, or maybe not punishment, but information about what is acceptable and what’s not, depending on the child’s age and ability to absorb that information.
I think that it’s probably about the same. I mean, I know you hear older generations complaining about today’s younger generation and how badly they behave but really I think it’s just that we are more aware of it nowadays and there are also more pressures and strains on young people today, so it’s all relative. Although I would say that there has been a move away from extended family life in some countries, which has maybe had an effect on the way children are raised, and accordingly, their behavior.
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