为了看日出,我常常早起。那时天还没有大亮,周围非常清静,船上只有机器的响声。天空还是一片浅蓝,颜色很浅。转眼间天边出现了一道红霞,慢慢地在扩大它的范围,

游客2023-12-21  22

问题     为了看日出,我常常早起。那时天还没有大亮,周围非常清静,船上只有机器的响声。天空还是一片浅蓝,颜色很浅。转眼间天边出现了一道红霞,慢慢地在扩大它的范围,加强它的亮光。我知道太阳要从天边升起来了,便目不转睛地望着那里。果然过了一会儿,在那个地方出现了太阳的小半边脸.红是真红,却没有亮光。这个太阳好像负着重荷似地一步一步、慢慢地努力上升。到了最后,终于冲破了云霞,完全跳出了海面,颜色红得非常可爱。

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答案     I would often get up early to watch sunrise when it was not yet quite light and all was quiet except for the droning of the ship engine. The sky was pale with a bluish blue. Soon a streak of pink dawn broke over the horizon, expanding gradually and becoming brighter and brighter. Knowing that the sun was about to rise, I had my eyes fixed on the distant edge of tile sea. As expected, the sun soon appeared revealing half of its face, which was very red but not bright. It kept rising laboriously bit by bit as if weighted down with a heavy burden on its back until, after breaking through the rosy clouds, it completely emerged from the sea aglow with a lovely red.

解析     巴金的散文《海上的日出》(选自《海行杂记》)是脍炙人口的写景名篇,文字简洁朴素,对海上日出的全过程作了绘声绘色的描述,使人读后有亲临其境之感。文章是作者1927年春乘船赴法国学习时所写。译文既要忠实于原文,又要译出文学的美感,并不容易。
1.“机器的响声”译为the droning of the ship engine。“机器”在这里指轮船上的steam engine(蒸汽发动机),若译为machine不妥.应译为engine。“响声”可译为the sound,但不如the droning合适,因为droning常用来表示机器的单调低沉的嗡嗡响声。
2.原文的第一句和第二句翻译时可简化为一个英语的并列复合句,用and连接。
3.第三句“浅蓝”应译为bluish blue。
4.第四句和第五句同时出现了“天边”,“天边”是指地平线,第四句中可译为horizon,第五句中也可译为the distant edge of the sea,可避免在同一段中重复使用horizon。
5.“一道红霞”译为a streak of rosy dawn或a rosy streak of dawn,其中streak作“条纹”理解。
6.第六句中的“果然”译为As expected,同上一句衔接起来。
7.第七句中的“一步一步、慢慢地努力上升”译为rising laboriously bit by bit,其中laboriously包含“慢慢地”和“努力”两重意思。
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