隔壁的西洋茶食店每晚机器轧轧,灯火辉煌,制造糕饼糖果。鸡蛋与香草精的气味,氤氲至天明不散。在这“闭门家里坐,账单天上来”的大都市里,平白地让我们享受了这

游客2023-11-25  26

问题     隔壁的西洋茶食店每晚机器轧轧,灯火辉煌,制造糕饼糖果。鸡蛋与香草精的气味,氤氲至天明不散。在这“闭门家里坐,账单天上来”的大都市里,平白地让我们享受了这馨香而不来收账,似乎有些不近情理。我们芳邻的蛋糕,香胜于味,吃过便知。天下事大抵如此——做成的蛋糕远不及制造中的蛋糕,蛋糕的精华全在烘焙时期的焦香。喜欢被教训的人,又可以在这里找到教训。

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答案 The machines are chugging loudly in the brilliantly illuminated western tea shop next door, making biscuits, cakes and candies. The smell of eggs and vanilla would haunt the rooms until dawn. In a metropolis where "bills befall everyone even if he never leaves home with closed door", it seems inhuman for us to enjoy such fragrance for free. Our honorably odorous neighbor’s cakes smell better than their tastes, which can be known after having one piece. Probably most things in the world are similar—the baked cake is nowhere near the baking cake, as the essence of the cake is the burnt fragrance released from baking. Those who are accustomed to be taught a lesson can again find a lesson here.

解析 1.本文选自张爱玲的《道路以目》,描写了一个夜景的片段。全文共有六句话,用词形象准确,画面感强烈,翻译时应当注意中英文用词习惯的转化。
2.第一句的“机器轧轧”指的是机器工作时发出的声音,可译作the machines are chugging loudly,“灯火辉煌”是描述茶室店的情况,可译成定语brilliantly illuminated修饰“茶食店”。“制造糕饼糖果”可用现在分词短语作后置定语,说明机器制作的产品。
3.第二句中的“氤氲”是指鸡蛋与香精的气味在屋里久久不散,可用haunt来表达这种气味的持续性。
4.“闭门家里坐,账单天上来”是“闭门家里坐,祸从天上来”的改写。本句是夸张地说当时的生活开销大,哪怕是闭门不出,也有各种账单要付。两分句之间暗含让步转折关系,可以尝试翻译成bills befall everyoneeven if he never leaves home with closed door。
5.第四句里“芳邻”用词巧妙,一语双关,饶有兴味。既有字面义,指邻居真的是散发出蛋糕的“芳香”;也有比喻义,揶揄邻居是“好”邻居(文章实际在诉苦,对每晚要忍受茶食店的气味感到无奈),和我们“不近情理”形成对照。为保留原文这种幽默和淡淡的讽刺,“芳邻”试译为honorably odorous neighbor,其中的odorous一词既可指香味,也可指臭味。后半句“吃过便知”是对前面两个短句的补充说明,可用定语从句修饰前面的句子,译作which can be known after having one piece。
6.第五句中破折号后的两个分句之间存在因果关系,可用连词as引导原因状语从句。“焦香”可尝试译作burnt fragrance。
7.最后一句的“教训”可用teach a lesson来表达。译为Those who are accustomed to be taught a lesson can again find a lesson here.
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