海水那么近,浪打上岸,飞溅起一地水花。海潮汹涌,一波一波如各路驶来的轰隆火车,那视觉,听觉,触觉的震撼,瞬间要将人吞噬似的。坐在半颓倾的护栏水泥块上,看

游客2023-11-25  15

问题     海水那么近,浪打上岸,飞溅起一地水花。海潮汹涌,一波一波如各路驶来的轰隆火车,那视觉,听觉,触觉的震撼,瞬间要将人吞噬似的。坐在半颓倾的护栏水泥块上,看天色将暗之际由晕红转橘橙而灰蒙。一轮光盘映照在海面上,我以为那是即将隐落的夕阳,转念一想,不对,那可是初升的月亮。天还透着朦胧亮光呢。近晚月色镶嵌在天海之间,像是谁刻意调了白色颜料画上的图案。

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答案 The sea was so close to me, waves beating the shore, one splash after another. The surging tides, running like waves of roaring trains, were approaching me from all directions. The shocking sensation, coming over my eyes, ears and body, seemed to be about to devour a person instantly. Sitting on the half decadent cement block fence, I saw the darkening sky turning from blushing red to orange and then to dim gray. On the surface of the sea was a flashing plate, which I first thought was the reflection of the sinking sun, only to realize later that was the rising moon falling on the sea. The sky was still a bit bright light. The evening moon is sewed into the surface between the sky and the sea, which looked like a picture painted by an artist who deliberately used some kind of mixed white colour.

解析 1.本文选自台湾旅行作家赖钰婷所著的《小地方》,全文共有六句话,用词优美,有很多的明喻、隐喻、排比。翻译时应注意保持原文的语言风格。
2.第一句为描写景色,出现“海水”“浪”“水花”三个事物,“那么近”“打上岸”“飞溅起”三个动作,翻译时可采用现在分词短语和介词短语作伴随状语。本句缺失一个主语,因为全文均是从作者的角度观看海景,译文应补全主语“我”。“海水那么近”是指“海水离我那么近”,可译为the sea is so close to me。
3.第二句同样是描写海景,“海潮汹涌……如各路驶来的轰隆火车”强调的是海潮奔涌的这个动作像火车呼啸而过一样,可译为running like waves of roaring trains。后半句重点在海潮带来的感官体验,可以单独拆开来翻译为一个独立的句子。“那视觉,听觉,触觉的震撼”是指这一情景给我的眼睛、耳朵以及身体带来的震撼,可译为The shocking sensation coming over my eyes,ears and body。
4.第三句同样也省略了主语“我”,在翻译时应当补上。“天色将暗之际由晕红转橘橙而灰蒙”有几个颜色的递变,可参考译作the darkening sky turning from blushing red to orange and then to dim gray。
5.第四句看到映在海面上的一轮光盘,作者有两次思考,两次辨识,如按原语序译为两句,句子逻辑结构则较为松散,故译文使用倒装句,将原文的地点“在海面上”前置,“一轮光盘”置于句末,方便与下文衔接。“我以为那是即将隐落的夕阳”处理为which引导的定语从句,修饰a flashing plate。“转念一想,不对,那可是初升的月亮。”则用only to的结构引出。实际上“光盘”是“即将隐落的夕阳”与“初升的月亮”的倒影,翻译时需补充出来,前者译为the reflection of the sinking sun,后者用the rising moon falling on the sea表达,既避免了重复,也富有诗意。
6.“朦胧亮光”可译作a bit bright light.
7.最后一句把月光比喻成画家用白色颜料在天空中画的一幅图案。“镶嵌”建议使用sew来表达。“像是谁刻意调了白色颜料画上的图案”翻译时可用后置定语来表达。参考译作looked like a picture painted by anartist who deliberately used some kind of mixed white colour。
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