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Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing
Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing
游客
2025-03-21
21
管理
问题
Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beauty to the Bruce Willis-Michelle Pfeiffer movie, The Story of Us, the institution of marriage is being turned inside out, and it’s not a pretty sight. To judge by these films, modern marriage involves a lot of broken crockery and busted expectations. While many current Hollywood depictions of marriage may be overly pessimistic, statistics in America are alarming: each year half as many Americans get divorced as marry.
Marriage counselors say couples often choose to separate as a last-ditch effort to change their relationship, and possibly themselves, "Many trial separations don’t work because they’re not ’authentic’. They’re just one person’s way of getting out of the relationship," says Harriet Lerner, author of the book The Dance of Anger. But a separation can give couples time to calm down, renegotiate the rules of the relationship and gain some needed distance.
For a separation to work, it needs to be well defined. Constance Ahrons, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Training program at the University of Southern California, says "structured separations" tend to be the most productive. Couples facing separation do best if they establish some basic ground rules first. They should mutually agree on the length of the separation—Ahrons says three to six months is average—and both must continue to work on their own problems during that time, either with or without a counselor.
Couples should agree not to see lawyers during their separation. Lawyers have a way of moving marriage toward divorce. During their period of trial separation couples should not pursue each other at all, either to fight or to reconcile, but should agree in advance on what kind of contact they will have. Separated couples can agree to speak on the phone for a prearranged period, for instance, or meet once a week. Some therapists advise their clients to agree not to talk to each other about their relationship during these encounters and to use the time apart to reflect on their own lives and see what they can change about themselves. If there are children involved, Ahrons says, both parties need to agree on all the ground rules having to do with kids. Parents should also be aware that repeated separations and reconciliations are difficult and confusing for children.
Ahrons says a separation, while painful, can help keep the anger down and give a couple time to think. If both are unsure about the future of the marriage, it can provide a time-out, during which they can see what life would be like without the other. "Sometimes," Ahrons says, "a separation can lead back into marriage. Sometimes it leads to divorce. But if couples are able to clarify things, it will improve their marriage—or, make their divorce better. " [br] All of the following statements are true except that______.
选项
A、the population of divorced American is almost half of that of married American annually
B、it is necessary for the couple who want their separation to be successful to set certain rules
C、it will make the children puzzled if their parents separate and come back into harmony again and again
D、lawyers are more needed than the therapists and marriage counselors during the couple’s separation
答案
D
解析
问题问下面的哪个陈述是不正确的。文章第一段的最后一句话指出:每年美国的离婚人口几乎等于结婚人口的一半。因此,答案A不可选。文章第三段指出,分居要获得成功,就必须对一些情况做出明确规定。南加州大学婚姻与家庭理疗培训计划负责人康斯坦斯·亚鲁斯说,“结构性分居”效果可能最好。即将分居的夫妇如能事先确定某些基本规则,他们的分居将会收到最佳效果。他们应商定好分居时间的长短。亚鲁斯说,一般情况下,分居时间应在3至6个月之间。期间,双方必须独立解决个人问题,是否请婚姻问题咨询专家,由他们自己决定。因此,答案B不可选。文章第四段最后部分指出,亚鲁斯说,如果牵扯到孩子,双方必须就所有与孩子有关的基本规则达成协议。父母应该明白:频繁的分居与和解会让孩子难以理解,无法接受。因此,答案C也不可选。而文章中并没有提到在夫妇双方分居期间律师比精神理疗专家和婚姻问题咨询专家更必要。所以,本题的答案应是D。
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