首页
登录
职称英语
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own
游客
2025-01-13
17
管理
问题
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own. My husband and I rarely argued, we had similar careers, and we shared common interests. So nobody was more surprised than we were when our 17-year marriage ended in divorce. It turns out I had been judging my marriage by the wrong standards-as most of us do. In one famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had broken up. Even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.
Luckily, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help you recognize marital strife long before your relationship hits the skids. For instance, a couple go hiking on their first date. They marry, and years later, the wife tells this story: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew not to plan another hiking trip!" Another wife might tell it a different way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again. " The keeper marriage? The one in which the positive is accentuated and the problems laughed off.
Research shows that it’s not what you say but how you say it: Your emphasis will correctly predict the success or failure of your marriage about 90 percent of the time. To size up your relationship, ask yourself these questions. Do you:
Avoid arguments?
Studies show it’s a mistake to judge a relationship by the amount of time you argue, especially early on. When I was first married, I felt lucky that my husband and I rarely fought. A University of Washington study of newly wed couples appeared to confirm my belief: It showed that couples who argued relatively little were happier than combative ones. When the same couples were checked three years later, however, those with an early history of bickering were more likely to have found stability in their marriages, whereas couples who prided themselves on their equanimity were in troubled relationships or already divorced. Of course, violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable.
Roll your eyes?
This seemingly harmless gesture is a clear sign of marital discord. The same researchers at the University of Washington found that eye rolling, even when accompanied by a laugh or smile, indicates some degree of contempt—poison to a relationship. "This kind of sarcastic gesture doesn’t clearly state an objection, which makes it difficult for the other person to respond," says Janice Kiecolt-Glaser at the Ohio State University College of Medicine. "The obvious first step is to stop the behavior. But the second is to explore the reasons behind it. "
Duck decisions?
I often deferred to my husband when it came to making weekend or vacation plans. Later I realized our social life didn’t reflect my favourite activities—a relationship red flag. Psychologist Howard Markman, a professor at the University of Denver, agrees. It’s risky for your relationship when one of you controls the social agenda, he says. [br] Researchers at the University of Washington found that eye rolling indicates some degree of______.
选项
A、scorn
B、hatred
C、sadness
D、depression
答案
A
解析
转载请注明原文地址:https://tihaiku.com/zcyy/3911190.html
相关试题推荐
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
Endingamarriagecanbeasad【C1】______experience,especiallyforchildren.
随机试题
Whatshouldn’tthehostdobeforetheguestwhocomesforthebusinesspurposet
随机变量X~N(0,1),Y~N(1,4),相关系数ρXY=1,则( )。A.
采用标准维卡仪进行水泥标准稠度用水量试验,维卡仪滑动部分的总质量为()。A.20
某投资者通过ABC证券公司卖出股票,成交额为8000元,其中经手费为7元,印花税
下列不属于城市总体规划阶段公共设施布局需要研究内容的是( )。A.公共设施的总
提款期是指从()开始,至合同规定贷款金额全部提款完毕之日为止,或最后一次提
鼓励技术的功能在于()。 A.让求助者感到快乐 B.引导求助者的谈话朝着一个
治疗指数是指A.比值越大,药物毒性越大 B.比值越大就越不安全 C.ED/T
刘某40岁时投保终身死亡保险,保险金额为10万元,同时投保医疗保险(无免赔约定)
具有房屋建筑设计丙级资质的某油田勘探开发公司欲新建专家公寓,该工程地下1层,地上
最新回复
(
0
)