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Being an introvert is a bad thing, right? Well, a lot of people seem to thin

游客2024-08-17  15
问题     Being an introvert is a bad thing, right? Well, a lot of people seem to think so, judging by the number of articles I’ve read about how to "cure" introversion. I wrote The Introverts Strike Back, in which I argued that introverts can’t become extraverts, and they shouldn’t particularly want to.
However, I’m not here to debate whether it’s better to be an introvert or an extravert. The fact is, we all have to interact with both types of people every day. Regardless of which type you are, you can greatly improve your relationships by learning to get along better with people of the other type. Here are some tips for getting started.
    For Introverts;
    Indicate to others when you’ re busy.
    When an extravert sees you reading, writing, or maybe just thinking, he might assume that the only reason you are doing this is because you don’t have someone to talk to. So he thinks he’s doing you a favour by striking up a conversation, when he’s actually interrupting.
    To prevent this, be sure to give an indication that you’ re in the middle of something and don’t want to socialise right now. This can be a visual sign or verbal.
    I know one person who tended to get a lot of visitors at work, and while he was actually an extravert, the frequent visits were slowing him down too much. He put a sign on his door saying" If I don’t make eye contact or respond to you, I apologize. I’m not trying to be rude, I just have a lot of work to do. Thank you for understanding. " While I don’t think many people need to go that far, it certainly worked!
    Realise that extroverts often need to talk.
    Because extraverts are more in touch with the external world, for them talking is sometimes as necessary as breathing. They might think out loud by bouncing their thoughts off other people, and they might need to chat in order to boost their energy.
    For an introvert, this can be the most difficult part of dealing with an extravert. The same conversation that energizes the extravert also drains the introvert. However, keeping in mind that the extravert is not being intentionally malicious, the introvert has at least two options for handling this in a polite way. They can patiently participate in the conversation, and then, when it’s over, recharge by being alone. Or they can cut off the conversation early by mentioning something else they need to be doing, or even by saying, "I’d like to help, but I’ m not sure that I’ m the right person for you to be talking to. "
    Of course, sometimes a conversation can be very enjoyable for an introvert, in which case this isn’t a problem.
    For Extraverts;
    Ask if someone is busy before spending time with them.
    If someone appears to be lonely, they might not be. Even if they’ re just sitting there and don’t seem to be doing anything, they could be deep in thought and not want to be interrupted.
    If you need something, try to ask for it up front. Otherwise, look for clues that they might not feel like talking right now, such as lack of eye contact.
    If they seem uninterested, don’t take it personally. You just don’t know what you’ re interrupting.
    Understand what a draining effect a conversation can have on someone.
    No matter how fabulous a person you are, keep in mind that introverts simply prefer their internal world to be the external world. They might start off with a fully charged battery, but while they’ re engaged in conversation, that battery is steadily draining. How long it lasts depends on various factors, but be sure to keep an eye out for when they’ re starting to lose interest. Be more to the point with introverts, and save most of your chatting for extraverts who will appreciate it more. [br] An important clue that someone might not feel like talking with you right now is______.
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答案 lack of eye contact
解析
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