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  3. 7 Secret Tests of AttractionA) You’re a smart, attractive person

7 Secret Tests of AttractionA) You’re a smart, attractive person

游客2024-01-31  19
问题                7 Secret Tests of Attraction
A) You’re a smart, attractive person. So you wouldn’t be surprised if one of your friends got the hots (迷恋) for you and then started acting all kinds of crazy. Your love-struck friend will wonder if you feel the same way, and will probably dream up subtle tests to find out. They could save themselves some effort by quickly surveying the scientific literature, though, because they will almost certainly be following one of seven well-trodden paths.
B) In a classic study led by Leslie Baxter at Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon, and William Wilmot at the University of Montana, Missoula, a team of researchers interviewed 90 undergraduate students about their relationships with people of the opposite sex. The interviewees admitted to a total of 158 "calculated acquisition strategies" —or secret tests— that they hoped would reveal how a fancied friend felt about them. Many of the tests were pretty similar, so Baxter and Wilmot were able to boil them down to just seven categories. Read on to see how infuriating, and downright calculating, friends can become in the pursuit of a relationship upgrade.
1. Endurance
C) This is most common type of test. In this category, the love-struck friend does their best to test the other person’s feelings by fishing for compliments or demanding help—especially if it comes at a cost to the other. A classic endurance strategy is the self-put-down. As one respondent recalled: "He was really getting down on himself, saying he wasn’t a very capable or nice person. He said it to get me to compliment him and verbalize how much I thought of him."
D) Another type of endurance test is called forced choice, in which your friend wants to see if you will drop everything for them. " She came to where I work out and said that she was really depressed but didn’t want to bother me," said one man in his interview. "She really wanted to see if I would stop what I was doing and show my concern, indicating how much I care for her."
E) Finally, enamored (迷恋的) friends will behave like spoiled brats (小孩) , pushing their friend’s buttons to see how much mistreatment they will put up with without complaining—will you still like them even when they’re being a pain?
2. Triangulation
F) The second most popular type of test was dubbed the triangle; because it relies on the age-old saying "three’s a crowd". Some people engineer "fidelity checks" , especially if the relationship has already strayed beyond the platonic (柏拉图式). One of the interviewees wanted to test if her boyfriend was as keen as she was. "I would intentionally leave him alone with my roommate and then ask him when I returned ’ what have the two of you been up to? ’ If he acted uncomfortable, I would know that he wasn’t faithful—or at least that he was thinking about being unfaithful to me."
G) Others employ jealousy tests: "I tested her limits by going out with other women and making sure that she found out about it. I wanted to know what kind of relationship commitment she wanted," said one man.
3. Hint
H) Then there are the indirect suggestion tests: joking about serious feelings, hinting or getting increasingly intimate with bodily contact. " When we were just becoming romantic, he kept getting more and more bold with his touching—first his arm around my shoulder, then moving in real close, etc. He was waiting to see if I would tell him when to stop as a sign of how much I liked him," said one interviewee.
4. Miss me?
I) Distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder, and indeed physical separation is a common test. One respondent admitted: " To see if our relationship was really strong I tested it... by going overseas for a few months."
J) If you have felt like you didn’t want to be the first to call, you could be using another separation test called initiation induction. "When I returned from Switzerland, he didn’t call me even though he knew exactly when I was returning. He wanted to see if I still felt the same way about him by calling him first," one woman recalls.
5. Heart to heart
K) The directness test is really the opposite of a secret strategy. Far more popular with men than women, it involves either asking a person straight out how they feel.
L) You can also speak openly about yourself in the hope your love interest will too. "I was having trouble getting him to open up to me about his family and his background," one woman said, "so I started talking about my folks and sisters, hoping that he would reciprocate (互换) and tell me about himself as a sign that he trusted me and wanted me to know more about him."
6. Inside information
M) Ever tried to find out from someone’s friends whether they might have a crush on you? Then you have employed what Baxter and Wilmot aptly call asking third party tests. It might sound like playground behaviors, but grown-ups do it too.
7. Hijacking
N) Most cringeworthy (令人不舒服的) of all are public presentation tests, which basically involve backing your friend into a corner, in public. As one woman put it, "I intentionally introduced him as my boyfriend to my best friend who came to visit and then watched how he reacted—you know, did he seem embarrassed?"
O) It is probably a good thing these tests are the least common of all. If you’re on the receiving end, while waiting for the ground to swallow you up, this might be the moment when you see your friend in a whole new light—just not the way they hoped. [br] Separation test can be used to test whether the relationship is really strong.
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答案 I
解析 I段指出：距离通常被认为能让两颗心靠得更近，的确，身体上的分离是一种常见的测试。一位受访者承认：“我会通过出国几个月来考验我们的感情是否牢固。”所以题干中说分离测试可以判断感情是否牢固可以定位至I段。
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