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A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked,
A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked,
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2024-01-18
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问题
A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, " Would you like to stop for a drink?" "No thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn’t stop. The result? The wife—who had indeed wanted to stop—became
irritated
because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn’ t she just say what she wanted?
Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn’ t realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it’s no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness at each other.
Research shows that the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can at least in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women often play.
Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest—either to gain the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For many women, however, talking is typically a way to exchange confirmation and support.Women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus on establishing independence.
A cartoon I once saw shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, " Is there anything you’ d like to say before I start reading?" We know there isn’ t—but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something. The cartoon is funny because people recognize their own experience in it. What’ s not funny is that many women are hurt when men don’ t talk to them at home, and many men are frustrated when they disappoint their partners without knowing why.
When we don’ t see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions ("You don’ t care about me."). But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control. Learning the other’ s ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step toward genuine understanding. [br] By learning the other’ s ways of talking, we may______.
选项
A、keep our disagreements under control
B、forget about our disagreements
C、accuse the other of being selfish
D、find out the other’ s weakest point
答案
A
解析
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