Improving Your Conversation Skills Some common mistakes we have

Improving Your Conversation Skills
    Good morning, everyone. Today, I would like to discuss with you methods of improving your conversation skills.
    It is known to us that it might take a while to change the conversation habits that you have formed in your life, but it is very possible.
    To avoid making this lecture longer than necessary, let’s just skip right to some common mistakes many of us have made in conversations and their corresponding solutions.
    (l) Firstly, let’s deal with the mistake of not listening.
    Don’t be like most people. Don’t just wait eagerly for your turn to talk. Learn to really listen to what people are actually saying. When you start to listen, you’ll pick up on loads of potential paths in the conversation. (2) But avoid yes or no type of questions as they will not give you much information. If someone mentions that they went fishing with a couple of friends last weekend, you can for instance ask questions like "Where did you go fishing?" , "What do you like most about fishing?", etc.
    The person will go deeper into the subject giving you more information to work with and more paths for you to choose from.
    If they say something like "Oh, I don’t know. " at first, don’t give up. Ask again. They do know and they just have to think about a bit more. And as they start to open up the conversation, it becomes more interesting, because it’s not on auto-pilot any more.
    Ok, now let’s come to tightening up.
    When in conversation with someone you just meet or when the usual few topics are exhausted, an awkward silence or mood might appear. You might just become nervous not knowing exactly why. Leila Lowndes once said, "Never leave home without reading the newspaper. "(3) If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news. It’s also good to stay updated on current hot topics, like what happened on the latest episode of a film.
    Comment on the aquarium at the party, or on a girl’s cool Halloween costume or the host’s. You can always start new conversations about something in your surroundings.
    Thirdly, feeling nervous when meeting someone for the first time.
(4) If you feel nervous when meeting someone for the first time, assume rapport. It means that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends. Don’t overdo it. But if you imagine this, you’ll go into a positive emotional state. And you’ll greet and start talking to this new person with a smile and a friendly and relaxed attitude,because that’s how you talk to your friends. It might sound a bit crazy or too simple. But it really works.
    Fourthly, poor delivery.
    One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. A change in these habits can make a big difference since your voice and body language are vital parts of communication. There are some points you should remember.
    Slowing down. When you get excited about something, it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try to slow down. It will make it much easier for people to listen to you and for you to actually get what you are saying across to them.
(5) Speaking up. Don’t be afraid to talk as loud as you need to be heard.
    Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble. Speak with emotion. No one listens for that long if you speak with a monotone voice. Let your feelings be reflected in your voice.
(6) Using pauses. Slowing down your talking and adding a small pause between thoughts and sentences will create a bit of tension and anticipation. People will start to listen more attentively to what you’re saying.
    Learn a bit about improving your body language as it can make your delivery a lot more effective. Learn about laughter, posture, how to hold your drinks, etc.
(7) Finding a balance between listening and talking. Don’t interrupt someone when they are telling some anecdote or their views on what you are discussing to divert the attention back to yourself.
    In the following I’ll talk about having to be right.
(8) Avoid arguing and having to be right about every topic. Often a conversation is not really a discussion. It’s more of a way to keep a good mood going. No one will be that impressed if you "win" every conversation. Instead just sit back, relax and help keep the good feelings going.
(9) Apart from all of the above referred, someone often worries about being boring.
    Don’t talk about your new ear for 10 minutes without stop to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people.
    OK! At last, take it easy. Don’t do these all at once. You’ll just feel confused and overwhelmed. (10) Instead, pick out the most important things that you feel needs improving. Work on them every day for three to four weeks. Notice the differences and soon your new habits will start to pop up spontaneously when you are in a conversation.
    That’s all! Thank you for your attention.