The central question is whether we have allowed a culture to develop that disa

游客2023-12-09  26

问题   The central question is whether we have allowed a culture to develop that disables people for the challenges of marriage. Social emphasis on selfishness and self-centeredness, and the achievement-oriented ethic of our business world encourage us to put family in second place. Marriage often represents the transition from such a world of selfishness to a world of giving. Family life is the normal context in which we can learn that a life tilled with thinking about others instead of ourselves is the sure road to the most fulfilling joys and satisfactions.
  But instead of preparing young people to learn this lesson, often we actually seem to be preparing them more for divorce than for marriage.  Largely ignorant of the mysteries of giving, too many people enter marriage with high expectations of direct personal satisfaction, only to find themselves inevitably disappointed.

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答案   问题的核心在于我们是否听任了某种使人们无力面对婚姻挑战的文化任意发展。社会注重个人利益,强调以自我为中心,而商界的道德观以业绩为中心,这些都促使我们把家庭放在次要的位置上。婚姻常常代表一种过渡,即从这种怂恿自私的世界过渡到讲究奉献的世界。从家庭生活这样的正常环境中,我们可以认识到,只有为别人而不是为自己着想的生活才是通向最有成就感的快乐和满足的必由之路。
  但是,我们并没有让年轻人汲取这一教训;相反,我们实际上似乎常常是在为他们将来离婚而不是结婚作准备。太多的人由于对“奉献”的种种奥秘一无所知,常常带着较高的期望结婚,希望能直接获得个人的满足,结果却不可避免地大失所望。

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