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I thought that it was a Sunday morning in May, that it was Easter Sunday, and as
I thought that it was a Sunday morning in May, that it was Easter Sunday, and as
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2023-12-04
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问题
I thought that it was a Sunday morning in May, that it was Easter Sunday, and as yet very early in the morning. I was standing at the door of my own cottage. Right before me lay the very scene which could really be commanded from that situation, but exalted, as was usual, and solemnized by the power of dreams. There were the same mountains, and the same lovely valley at their feet; but the mountains were raised to more than Alpine height, and there was inter space far larger between them of meadows and forest lawns; the hedges were rich with white roses; and no living creature was to be seen except that in the green churchyard there were cattle tranquilly reposing upon the graves, and particularly round about the grave of a child whom I had tenderly loved, just as I had really seen them, a little before sunrise in the same summer, when that child died.
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答案
我想,那是五月一个周日的清晨;那天是复活节,清晨一大早。我仿佛是站在自家屋舍门口,面前的景象清晰地尽收眼底,梦中,就像往常一样,依然是一个欢乐而隆重的场面,山还是那些山,山脚下还是那条涓涓细流的溪谷;但是山变高了,比阿尔卑斯山还挺拔了些,诸山相距更加空旷,丰草如茵,林地开阔,错落其间;树篱上长满白色的蔷薇花;远近看不见任何动物,唯有苍翠的教堂庭院里,牛群静静地躺在那片郁郁葱葱的墓地旁歇息,牛群尤其靠近一座孩童的坟墓,那是我曾经百般疼爱的孩子的坟墓。整幅景象正如孩子去世的那个夏天旭日东升前那一刻看到的一模一样,那孩子死去了,我如同当年那样望着眼前的景色。
解析
1.第一句由几个短句组成,翻译时可采用顺译法,也可译成几个对应的短句。本句交代了下文叙述内容所发生的时间,给人一种很真实的感觉,似乎下文是对一件真实事件的描述,但是翻译时要倍加小心。
2.第二句是个简单句,开始描述当时的场景。汉语描述习惯一气呵成,不会先单独描述作者站在什么地方,再进行下文的描述,故可把第二句和接下来的几句合在一起翻译,再根据意思的连贯和转折进行断句,根据句意和汉语表达习惯适当调整句式。第二、三以及第四句的第一个分句可作为一个分句进行翻译,和下文梦幻的场景形成对比;从and no living creature到whom I had tenderly loved描述的是真实的场景,故可单独作为一个分句翻译;just as I hadreally…that child died是对整幅场景的总结,可单独成句进行翻译。
3.第二句看似在描述实景,但根据下文中的as was usual,and solemnized by the power of dreams,又让人难辨真幻,所以第二句的翻译可增加“仿佛”一词,从一开始就给人梦幻的感觉,以表达原文作者描述的梦幻感。
4.为了凸显作者描述中亦真亦幻的朦胧感,可把by the power of dreams简单翻译成“梦中”,而把exalted和solemnized合译成“欢乐而隆重”;commanded在这里明显不是“控制”的意思,可意译为“清晰地尽收眼底”;lovely valley根据实际场景可译为“涓涓细流的溪谷”;在aswas usual之后可增译“依然”一词,既可突出现实的描述,又可和下文的梦幻场景在语气上形成对比。
5.第四句中,but the mountains were raised…the hedges were rich with white roses这个分句包含wereraised to more than,was inter space far larger和were rich with white roses,由此可明显看出是梦幻的描述,山不可能突然变高,翻译时既要把这种变化显现出来,又要符合汉语的语言习惯。
6.roses在英文中可兼作“玫瑰”和“蔷薇”解释,因为是在野外,又是白色的,因此是蔷薇花的可能性更大,所以white roses翻译成“白色的蔷薇花”更为合适。living creature本来指“生物”或“生灵”,在这里根据上下文翻译成“动物”更为合适。
7.particularly round about the grave of a child是个分词短语,根据上下文语境可知,隐含的主语是“牛群”,故短语可译出隐含的主语,翻译成一个单句“牛群尤其靠近一座孩童的坟墓”,其后的定语从句按照一贯的翻译原则,单独翻译成句。tenderly loved可根据表达习惯译为“百般疼爱的”。
8.最后一句…just as I had really seen them,a little before sunrise in the same summer,when that childdied.句子不算长,但指代词容易被错误理解,翻译时首先要弄清作者要表达的重点。整句话隐含的主语是“作者站在那里看到的整幅景象”,是对整段描述的总结,隐含的主语可补译出来;其中特别需要指出的是,them指代的也是整段篇幅描述的场景;在时间状语从句when…之前省略了动词see,要补译出来;此外,just as I had和后文的when that child died指代的是同一时间,所以整句话翻译时可按照汉语的时间顺序叙述,句式上进行适当调整。
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