三年前在南京我住的地方有一道后门,每晚我打开后门,便看见一个静寂的夜。下面是一片菜园,上面是星群密布的蓝天。星光在我们的肉眼里虽然微小,然而它使我们觉得

游客2023-12-04  22

问题     三年前在南京我住的地方有一道后门,每晚我打开后门,便看见一个静寂的夜。下面是一片菜园,上面是星群密布的蓝天。星光在我们的肉眼里虽然微小,然而它使我们觉得光明无处不在。那时候我正在读一些关于天文学的书,也认得一些星星,好像它们就是我的朋友,它们常常在和我谈话一样。
    如今在海上,每晚和繁星相对,我把它们认得很熟了。我躺在舱面上,仰望天空。深蓝色的天空里悬着无数半明半昧的星。船在动,星也在动,它们是这样低,真是摇摇欲坠呢!
    渐渐地我的眼睛模糊了,我好像看见无数萤火虫在我的周围飞舞。海上的夜是柔和的,是静寂的,是梦幻的。我望着那许多认识的星,我仿佛看见它们在对我霎眼,我仿佛听见它们在小声说话。这时我忘记了一切。在星的怀抱中我微笑着,我沉睡着。我觉得自己是一个小孩子,现在睡在母亲的怀里了。

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答案     Now on the sea, facing the spray of stars every night, I have already known them very well. I would lie down on the deck, looking up into the sky. Hanging in the dark blue sky are countless dim-light stars. The boat is in motion, so are the stars. They are hanging so low that I feel as if they might fall anytime!
    Gradually my vision gets blurry, and I sometimes think countless fireflies are dancing around me. The night on the sea is gentle, serene and dreamy. I gaze at the numerous familiar stars, and it seems that they are blinking eyes at me and softly whispering to me. At such a moment, I would forget everything. It is in the embrace of the stars that I smile and fall fast asleep. I would feel like a baby resting in her mother’s arms.

解析 此处材料选自巴金的写景抒情散文《繁星》。描述了海上的繁星,抒发了对繁星的喜爱。本文简洁明快、行文流畅、想象丰富、语言生动形象、感情至诚丰盈、充满了童趣与对大自然的热爱。本文语言较为浅近,但是翻译时需要尽量保持原文的美感韵味。原文运用了比喻、拟人等修辞手法,翻译时应尽量保留原文的修辞手法和风格,另外,还需要注意选词丰富,并且注意英文的句式变化。
结构采分点
1.画线第一段第三句“深蓝色的天空里悬着无数半明半昧的星。”可译为部分倒装的句子,将动名词结构放句首,译为“Hanging in the dark blue sky are countless dim—light stars.”。
2.画线第一段第四句需要整合处理。“船在动,星也在动”合为一句,用so表示“也”,译为倒装句“Theboat is in motion,so are the stars.”。“它们是这样低,真是摇摇欲坠呢!”合为一句,用so…that…连接译为结果状语从句“They are hanging so low that I feel as if they might fall anytime!”。
3.画线第二段第五句“在星的怀抱中我微笑着,我沉睡着。”用强调句式翻译为“It is in the embrace of thestars that I smile and fall fast asleep.”。
词义采分点
1.画线第一段第三句中“半明半昧的星”可译为“dim-light stars”。
2.画线第二段第二句“海上的夜是柔和的,是静寂的,是梦幻的”中“静寂的”可译为文学中常用来形容静寂的词“serene”,而不用普通的“silent”。
3.画线第二段第三句中的“小声说话”可译为“whispering”,更加生动形象。
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