[originaltext] A lot of parents do not realize how important the emotional a

A lot of parents do not realize how important the emotional aspect of the relationship is. It determines their children’s performance. I recently heard a mother discussing what school her child might get into. She said, "I don’t know how bright my son is." She said that as if her son’s intelligence was an independent fate, like the color of the boy’s eyes.
    Many parents are frequently bothered by their children’s marks at school. Their relationship with the child is almost wholly built around this. It was not at all like that with my dad. Until I was eight, he did not seem to worry about marks. And, after that, it was never exam performance that he was concerned about. Rather, he concentrated on my self-understanding. He constantly showed me that I was not stupid by pointing out things I had said that were signs of intelligence. This gave me self-respect. I kept failing exams. But, my father thought there was a difference between my failing one exam and whether I would be a success or failure in life.
    Money can be used as a substitute for love for children of divorcees or of rich parents. It can also be used with school performance. Especially in the present exam-crazed system, parents can easily forget the point of education: it is to create fulfilled, creative adults, not exam-takers. If they show love conditionally on performance, it is a cause of depression.