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  3. The number of staff leaving Parkside, one of your company’s retail stores, is hi

The number of staff leaving Parkside, one of your company’s retail stores, is hi

游客2025-05-23  13
问题 The number of staff leaving Parkside, one of your company’s retail stores, is high compared to another of its stores. Your line manager has asked you to write a report about the situation.
Look at the information below, on which you have already made some handwritten notes.
Then, using all your handwritten notes, write your report.
Write 120-140 words.
选项
答案 Sample C
For number of Parkside staff leaving stores problem, I made a report as follows:
At first, look at draw, from this one you can see, Year 2007. Highgate lost 4 person. Parkside lost 5. Until 2008, Highgate’s rate is reduced, but Parkside’s rate is grew so high more staff leaving will make the store pay more time & money employ another one instead of this one. This is waste to the manual resource & money.
Through communicate with the Parkside staff, I know there are three point very important.
Firstly, training wanted. The staff want to more training to improve themselves’ level, everyday their make the same job, long and long, their will hate this job. I think the company need to provide this benefit to the staff.
Secondly. More paid holiday. I think this is the first, but the staff is not pay attention it, so that is not possible.
Thirdly. Bonus Scheme, if the company can pay more money employ the new staff why cannot pay more salary to the current staff? So I suggest the company provide the double-salary as the bonus pay for the current staff end of the years.
That’s all.
Sincerely,
Lucy.
Band 2
The report is considerably longer than the recommended word length and does not cover all the content points. Although the report is adequately paragraphed, cohesion is weak. The register and format of the report are not always appropriate; errors are numerous and impede clear communication of the message.
Sample D
Report on staff turnover
Introduction
This report aims to explain the high staff turnover 2008 in Parkside and to propose measures to improve staff loyalty.
Findings
The figures clearly show that the high number of staff leaving the stores is a problem that only affects the Parkside store in 2008. While staff turnover in the Highgate store remained on a low level the number of staff leaving Parkside shoot up from 5 to 20. This unfortunately has a bad impact on customer service.
Research amongst staff revealed their requirements. Firstly staff requires more training what would also benefit the company as the service is likely to improve. Another good idea is the introduction of a bonus scheme for valued staff that would improve staff loyalty. Unlike the mentioned proposals the request for a longer annual lave could not be met.
Recommendations
It is recommended to offer both the requested training opportunities and a bonus scheme for valued staff.
Band 5
All content points are clearly covered, and the report is well organised with good cohesion. Both the register and format are consistently appropriate. Generally, the language used is accurate, and a good range of structures and vocabulary is demonstrated.
解析
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