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Fifty is the gateway to the most liberating passage in a woman’s life. Child
Fifty is the gateway to the most liberating passage in a woman’s life. Child
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2025-04-19
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Fifty is the gateway to the most liberating passage in a woman’s life. Children are making test flights out of the nest. Parents are expected to be roaming in their recreational vehicles or sending postcards of themselves riding camels. Free at last! Women can graduate from the precarious balancing act between parenting and pursuit of a career. That has been the message of my books since I wrote New Passages 15 years ago. What I didn’t see coming was the boomerang.
With parents living routinely into their 90s, a second round of caregiving has become a predictable crisis for women in midlife. Nearly 50 million Americans are taking care of an adult who used to be independent. Yes, men represent about one third of family caregivers, but their participation is often at a distance and administrative. Women do most of the hands-on care.
It starts with the call. It’s a call about a fall. Your mom has had a stroke. Or it’s a call about your dad—he’s run a red light and hit someone, again, but how are you ever going to persuade him to stop driving? Or your hushand’s doctor calls with news that your partner is reluctant to tell you: it’s cancer.
When that call came to me, I froze. The shock plunges you into a whirlpool of fear, denial, and feverish action. You search out doctors. They don’t agree on the diagnosis. You scavenge the Internet. The side effects make you worry. You call your brother or sister, hoping for help. Old rivalries flare up.
We’d like to think that siblings would be natural allies when parents falter. But the facts are quite different. Brothers bury their heads in the sand. The farther away a sister lives, the more certain she will call the primary caregiver and tell her she doesn’t know what she’s doing. A 1996 study by Cornell and Louisiana State universities concluded that siblings are not just inherent rivals, but the greatest source of stress between human beings.
There are many rewards in giving back to a loved one. And the short-term stress of mobilizing against the initial crisis jump-starts the body’s positive responses. But this role is not a short race. It usually turns into a marathon, averaging almost five years. But most solitary caregivers will wait until the third or fourth year before sending out the desperate cry "I can’t do this anymore!" [br] Your brother or sister would be angry with your request for helping to______.
选项
A、stop the quarrel between your parents
B、find your husband a better doctor
C、deal with your family problems
D、take care of your mom or dad
答案
D
解析
根据文中第四段的“You call your brother or sister,hoping for help.Old rivalries flare up.”可知,你给兄弟姐妹打电话,希望得到帮助,但旧怨又爆发了。据此可知,你的兄弟姐妹会生气,因为你要求他们帮助照顾父母。D项正确。
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