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In Germany, in contrast with France,friendship is much more clearly a matter
In Germany, in contrast with France,friendship is much more clearly a matter
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2025-04-13
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In Germany, in contrast with France,friendship is much more clearly a matter of feeling. Adolescents, boys and girls,from deeply sentimental attachments,walk and talk together-not so much to polish their wits as to share their hopes and fears and dreams to form a common front against the world of school and family and to join in a kind of mutual discovery of each other’s and their own inner life. Within the family, the closest relationship over a lifetime is between brothers and sisters. Outside the family, men and women find in their closest friends of the same sex the devotion of a sister, the loyalty of a brother. Appropriately, in Germany friends usually arebrought into the family. Children call their father’s and their mother’s friends "uncle"and "aunt". Between French friends,who have chosen each other for the similarity of their point of view,lively disagreement and sharpness of argument are the breath of life. But for Germans, whose friendships are based on common feelings,deep disagreement on any subject that matters to both is regarded as a tragedy. Like ties of kinship,ties of friendship are meant to be absolutely binding.
Young Germans who come to the United States have great difficulty in establishing such friendships with Americans. We view friendship more tentatively, subject to changes in intensity as people move, change their jobs,marry, or discover new interests.
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答案
与法国截然不同,在德国,友谊更明确地说是个感情问题。少男少女之间建立起深厚的感情,他们一起散步,一起聊天。这一切不是为了提高自己的智慧,而是相互分享彼此的愿望、忧患和梦想,共同对付学校和家庭组成的世界,发现彼此的内心世界。家庭之内,一个人一生最亲密的关系是兄弟姐妹之间的关系。家庭之外,同性挚友之间像姐妹一样亲密,像兄弟一样真诚。大致说来,在德国,朋友经常被带到家里。孩子们称呼父母的朋友为叔叔和阿姨。观点相投而成为朋友的法国人之间,鲜明的分歧和激烈的争论是这种关系所不可少的。但是德国人的友谊是建立在相互感情的基础之上的。对他们来说,如果在双方都认为重要的问题上亲生了尖锐的分歧,那就是极大的不幸。朋友关系与亲缘关系一样具有绝对的约束力。
来到美国的年轻的德国人,很难与美国人建立起这样的友谊关系。我们不把友谊看得那样一成不变,友谊的深浅随着人们的搬迁、调换工作、婚嫁,或兴趣的改变而变化。
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