[originaltext] Our culture is concerned with matters of self-esteem. Self-r

Our culture is concerned with matters of self-esteem. Self-respect, on the other hand, may hold the key to achieving the peach of mind we seek. (32)The two concepts seem very similar but the differences between them are crucial.
     (29)To esteem anything is to evaluate it positively and hold it high regard, but evaluation gets us into trouble because while we sometimes win, we also sometimes lose. To respect something, on the other hand, is to accept it.
     The word acceptance suggests to some readers that our culture does indeed deal with this idea of self-respect; after all, don’t we have the concept that it is important to accept our limitations? Aren’t many of us encouraged "to change the things we can change, accept the things we cannot change and know the difference between the two?"
    (30)The person with self-respect simply likes herself or himself. This self-respect is not dependent on success because there are always failures to contend with, Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others because there is always someone better. There are techniques usually employed to increase self-esteem. (31)Self-respect, however, is a given. We simply like ourselves because of who we are and not because of what we can or cannot do.
     My recent research, with Judith White and Johnny Walsh at Harvard University, points to the advantage of selfrespect. (32)Compared to those with high self-esteem who are still caught in an evaluative framework, those with self-respect are less prone to blame, guilt, regret, lies, have secrets and stress.